Category Archives: Christopher D. Burns

Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 25

Chapter 25 I told you to bear with me. Now aren’t you glad you did? The whole engagement thing went over without a hitch. If I don’t say so myself it was smooth, just like me. Come on now, you know I’m smooth… Don’t front. I truly hope you understand where this came from. I

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Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 24

Chapter 24 Stage Four isn’t approached without trepidation. It’s an awkward time for any man. Making a commitment is one thing but saying to a woman that you want to live the rest of your life with her is an entirely different monster. In other words Stage Four is the final phase before you leave

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Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 23

Chapter 23 I’m still trying to figure out a few things. If a relationship can be as good as it was with me and Janice why in the hell was I so afraid to try it before? I know the trauma from the first girlfriend thing was my excuse, but it was just that, an

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Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 22

Chapter 22 Life becomes a habit if you don’t start doing something in your spare time to keep you sane. I had continued with my music, but I’d picked up another trade in my spare time, something I’d come to enjoy thoroughly, writing. Flip had added more speakers to his house and bought a new

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Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 21

Chapter 21 I was on top of the world after that night. My life seemed so perfect. We shared our first week with each other talking and feeling excited about us. It all seemed like a dream. I never expected to be this happy. The second week passed and Flip and I had talked about

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Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 20

Chapter 20 We made it home at a little after 10 pm. I instantly walked in and turned on the radio, which was routine for me. Janice walked over and turned it down. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I really can’t stand loud music late at night.” “That wasn’t loud.” I turned the radio

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Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 19

Chapter 19 Stage Three Amendment Two: When everything is stated and it’s honest and sincere, there is a feeling that comes over you that makes you shiver. It isn’t a small thing. It’s very noticeable and you remember it. It is the moment you realize that maybe you’ve found the right person. I had to

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Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 18

Chapter 18 I thought about what I would say to Janice on the drive to the house. How would I begin? I had been practicing certain lines like, “I want this thing to work but it’s gonna take both of us.” Nothing seemed real. It all sounded rehearsed. I figured when I saw her I’d

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 17

Chapter 17 Stage Three amendment: When a man has come to a fork in the road, he can’t sit and take his time. He has to choose and accept what may come. No turning back and going to look down the other road. Keep straight and accept it. Allow God to do his job and

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 16

Chapter 16 A reflection can be found anywhere, or it can come at anytime. Two of the most important reflections I’ve had in my adulthood happened because of a conversation with a brother three years younger than myself. Flip, like he said about Tina, was brought into my life for a reason. People coming into

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 15

Chapter 15 Sometimes the Lord puts people into your life for a reason. Why question everything? Then again why not? I’m not saying doubt, or that I don’t believe, but you have to wonder. I still was bothered by what Flip told me and I just couldn’t make sense of it all in my head.

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 14

Chapter 14 This is where everything gets odd. In a handbook that details the circumstances, or patterns, that a man might go through in reaching the “promised land” of a “perfect” relationship, that handbook should remain somewhat reliable. I had the best damn date a man could have without having sex. I wanted Janice so

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 12

Chapter 12 So, if the easiest thing to do is lie, what is the second hardest thing to do? Maybe the hardest thing to do sometimes is tell the truth. I guess if telling the truth is the hardest thing to do then remembering what your lie is must be the second hardest. One of

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 11

Chapter 11 Considering all the things that come about in a matter of minutes, do you ever think that if given a chance you would go back and make all the things you’ve done right or better? I’m sure you do, I do to an extent. The people I may have hurt and the things

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 10

Chapter 10 After placing the napkin in my pocket Flip looked at me like I was crazy. “What did you just write?” “Nothing.” I couldn’t let him see it. The things that went into my journal at the time were private. I looked around the club to see who was in the house. I wanted

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 9

Chapter 9 “In thirteen seconds the tape will flip itself over if nothing is being played.” Flip said. I drove up to Flip’s crib in La Jolla to look at his new stereo system. He had bought a CD player and a tape deck that did a lot of technical stuff that we usually consider

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 8

Chapter 8 After church I made sure to call Ros up and let her know I was thinking about her. She told me how much she enjoyed us. I reciprocated her thoughts. “I hope we can get together more often,” she said. I thought, “I don’t. I like it once a week if you don’t

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 7

Chapter 7 I picked up Ros from her house, which was off of Euclid. Not the best part of town, but her mother’s home was in a quiet section of Southeast San Diego. I always felt that Flip and I were the only Black men that stayed above Highway Eight, which ran east to west

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Thankfully, everything had worked out with Laney leaving and all. I had been rapping with Ros for almost four weeks. We hadn’t gone out because of conflicting schedules. My job and Laney held me captive. Ros’ son and work held her captive. But the weekend when Laney left, our clocks became magically synchronized.

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Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships – Chapter 5

Chapter 5 A couple of years have passed since I read over my older journal entries. I always scrolled through the entries, but I was usually looking for a specific thought or incident. Since I decided to create this book, I’ve been looking at those early entries that were written before the art gallery. The

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