Breaking Down The Myth: I’m Doing It For The Kids (Baby Momma Drama)

Guest writer:
Keosha Samuel

“You mean to tell me now that your baby mama knows we are getting serious she is finally ready to be the woman you want her to be? You really believe she now wants what you want out of a relationship? She is ready to be serious and you are falling for it? Oh, you say you are doing it for the kids?” This is how most conversations go when those aggravating words are spoken. It seems to be the main excuse men use when they need a way out of a relationship to go back to their baby’s mother. When things like that happen the commitment usually ends in turmoil because they get back together under the wrong circumstances. It is bull—- to only want to be with someone because someone else has them and it is also unsanitary (yep, unsanitary). Men have the tendency to play all of their cards and if the woman allows them to, they will do so just as freely as a bird flies. “I’m doing it for the kids” is so famous because it is understood and looked upon as a blessing if both parents are in the same household along with the children. Having “family values” and being “family oriented” become excuses when the children are used as the backbone to keep a family together even when one or both parents feel no attachment.

If a man has not wholeheartedly overcome the attachment to his baby’s mother he should not put himself on the single market and deceive the women around him. He should let the woman he is seeing know up front, what he wants, and does not want. This gives the woman a fair opportunity to either play it safe and not get involved or proceed on with the friendship, with great precaution. If he knows that at the snap of a finger he will go running back, the last thing he should do is get in a serious relationship because in the long run the innocent woman that he deceived will be the one hurt in the end. Some women are bashed for talking to a man with children, but that is an unfair judgment. If a woman likes a man enough to consider him, and everything that comes with him, she should not be judged. She only knows what the man tells her, which definitely doesn’t include the fact that he may still have feelings for his baby’s momma.
Why do men live a double life? Both parties should be honest. There is no punishment for telling the truth. Men have to know exactly what they want, and do not want. They can determine that when they know exactly how they feel, for the sake of the women who may take interest in them. The mind of a man is sometimes shallow, but the emotion of a woman’s heart runs deep.

Keosha Samuel is a junior at The LeMoyne Owen College majoring in English. Her alter ego “Suga Mama” is the persona used to reveal the side of her that is musically inclined. She is one of few breath taking female rappers that has the ability to capture the crowd with her voice and presence. She is very outspoken and passionate about writing whether it is in essay form, or music. For any questions or anything along the lines of contact reach her on Facebook at