Why wasn’t that just rude of me? I never considered the followers and continuous readers of the CB Publishing blog when I just up and started posting entries without the formal, “Hi, my name is…” I was so caught up in The Game season premiere last Tuesday, that I encroached on this blog’s territory. Well, in all honesty I am not exactly sorry, but this entry is just an excuse for me to take part in one of my favorite past times: writing about myself. Below is the excerpt from the autobiography that I am currently drafting with the working title, AWE: Amazingly Wonderfully Excellent: The True Documented Accounts of the Great Lisa B: Inside the Inside Story
….On a bright June 12, 1980-something day, the world got a little brighter around 6:30/5:30central as a new vibration of sound hit the ether causing a centrifugal force to spread throughout the atmospheric space. And yes, I did not look up any of those words to back up the validity of that sentence. Anyway, it is said that someone may have possibly not quite but maybe saw God’s teardrop fall into Lake Michigan causing the water to overwhelmingly tide over the shoreline of Gary, IN. His best work yet was being delivered not to far away at Methodist Hospital. After 3 seconds of painless labor, God’s bundle of grace was handed over to the joyous first time mother. Well, the mother actually had two other children, beforehand, but after cradling this angel, “the last shall be first” made sense to her. It is also recorded, but not really written down, that when the nurse smacked the baby’s bottom to hear the first cry as a sign of oxygen hitting the lungs, there came no sound. Instead the baby pointed to a nearby pen and pad. The nurse handed it to the Gift from God and to everyone’s amazement, watched the child write down, “Waaahh Waaaahhh Wah!” while humming Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing. Then the finger of that same small baby reached up to wipe away the lone tear that slowly trickled down the face of her mother. “Shhhh,” the baby comforted, “I’m here now. Everything will be alright.” The mother named the baby girl Queen Elizabeth Beasley. However, the same nurse who recorded the baby’s first authorial moment, misplaced the birth certificate and the child was hereby known by her nickname, Lisa B…
I know you’re dying to read the rest of my autobiography. For now, I’ll tell you all you need to know and the rest can be found on my facebook page. I write, act, sing, and dance. I’m a professional performer, spoken word artist, graphic designer, and lover of Jazz History which I believe tells the story of America. I’m in every relational position that a woman can be in, except wife, mother, and/or mistress. I started a company called Lifted Soul, INC in 2009 and so far, so great. I hope you check back often to read my factually based opinions.
Also, I’ll keep you posted on the autobiography that I am currently drafting with the working title, AWE: Amazingly Wonderfully Excellent: The True Documented Accounts of the Great Lisa B: Inside the Inside Story
Here are a few of the critiques I’ve gotten:
Trust me, you’re not gonna wanna put down this Almost but not really kinda sorta true story down. 5.6 stars.
-Nu Yurk Times
I’m turning into a movie.
-The Guy Who Made Avatar.