Key Point 20: Stay Away From Dream Killers – This section can easily be its own book. However, I will keep it simple. There are two types of people in this world: supportive and non-supportive. Is it this black and white? No, not really… there are gray areas. There are really five types that exist and I break them down into what I call Dream Categories.
- Dream Deferrers – This person does not really want to accomplish anything. They may have an idea and they would like to be successful, but they just can’t seem to present anything tangible to help you or them. They always have something to say, but at the root of it all, they only want to slow you down and prevent you from moving forward. They may not realize they are acting in this way, but you can see them very clearly. This is the person who always has a reason for not following through and is consistently attempting to tell you why you should take your time and not focus only on your goals. They think focus and intensity is obsession and selfishness.
- Dream Stealers – You took the time to come up with an idea and you were cool enough to share it. The Dream Stealer will take your idea and attempt to do it before you. They don’t care if what they are doing is poorly executed and they aren’t even passionate about the idea. This person just wants to do whatever it is before you so they can say they did it first. The Dream Stealer will take the time and effort to attend every meeting and will listen intently to what is being said because they need to know everything. They lack creativity and simply want the chance to shine without actually putting in the work. If they can prevent you from succeeding while still pretending to be on your side, they will. This person is fully aware of what they are doing and you should be aware as well. All you have to do is open your eyes.
- The Shaky Dreamer – Some people want to help, they sincerely do. They want to give you money, they want to assist and they will, but they are so worried about the outcome that they never truly invest themselves in the project 100%. This person may actually be you. If you continuously find reasons not to initiate a project you are the Shaky Dreamer. Sometimes it’s understandable to be nervous. You might not have enough money or you might not have enough research done. These things are tactical and not actually shaky. However when the only obstacle stopping you is fear, or the knowledge that the job could become more difficult, then you are the Shaky Dreamer.
- The Dream Killer – Is the worst person you can meet. The problem is this person is often the person closest to you. The Dream Killer can be a spouse, a parent or a best friend. They often begin a sentence with these words, “Well, I don’t know…” They may start the sentence with this after you bring up an idea, “You better get a real job.” They will also tell you this one, “Man, that’s hard, you make good money already just focus on your career and you can get paid.” Even worse is this one, “Don’t you think you’re spending too much time on that?” Another one, “That’s stupid as hell. Ain’t nobody gonna buy that.” Finally, this is the one that really crushes you, “That’s not going to work and you can’t do it.” The Dream Killers are all around and they are in every place you go. They are at the church, “If you don’t tithe, you won’t get your blessing.” They are at the gym, “One lap is good enough for today.” They are at the grocery store, “Why are you buying all that dough. Ha ha, you thinking about starting a bakery?” The Dream Killer can be subtle, “Baby, I was thinking we shouldn’t really try that, it might put us in a bad spot,” nibbles ear and turns off the light. The Dream Killer can be overt and in your face. In whatever shape or style the Dream Killer shows up, you have to recognize the cues and deal with them accordingly.
- The Dream Builder – I am a dream builder. I hear about things and I get inspired and excited. I begin trying to come up with ideas about how to do it. I believe that if you want to try it you should. If you are a freshman in college and you want to move toNew York, and become an actress on Broadway, I’ll say, “Research it, visit and then plan your path.” I’m the person that will tell you to forget about a scholarship and college and pursue the thing that you love the most. You have your whole life to go back to school. I’m the person that says, “I really think someone will buy an attachment that allows your cell phone to connect to a projector.” I think any idea is worth pursuing if it can be researched and it makes sense. If you can find one Dream Builder keep them around you; they are vital to your progress especially when things get hard. I have one caveat to add here: The Dream Builder can sometimes seem like a Shaky Dreamer and this isn’t a bad thing. When you are building a network of people, you need a person who takes their time to think about the situation, you also need a person who comes up with ideas and moves on to keep things fresh. The Dream Builder can be on either end and is often a polarizing figure… pun intended. This person though will always have something to contribute either through positive reinforcement or through negative reinforcement in certain situations.